Choices

There are days when I wonder why I didn’t do more.

They say, in the end, you are more likely to regret the things you didn’t do, than the things you did.

Travel, adventure, taking chances…all the things you dream of when you’re young (while you haven’t yet stepped out into the world on your own).

I think about this, and wonder what I could’ve been…where I could’ve gone…how things might have been different.

We make decisions in our lives that prove to be stepping-stones to the next place.

Choices made…changed plans.  We pave a way that we will go…and go, we do.

Sometimes to fortune, wealth, ease in living.  Other times to struggle, hardships, back-breaking work.

Could one tiny misstep have changed it all?  Would one little flip of hair, or quick turn the other way, made all the difference?

Who knows, but God?

My only wish, is that the person within, would stop the taunting…the questioning…the “what ifs”…and let me be.

Let me live my life…this crooked, stoney path I’ve chosen…and let me see, the shimmering gold, and the slivers of diamond, scattered among the stones.

Remove this dark veil of second guessing from my eyes…and just let me see.

~The Past~

How many of us feel trapped by our past?

Like someone has a tight grasp on your shirttail,  and holds you still as you try to move forward?

More than just leftover feelings…

It’s as if every day of your present is spent looking back at a faraway scene…seeing yourself in it, as if it were just moments before.

Wishing you could step back into the memory, and nothing would’ve changed.  Wondering if you would feel as lost and fearful as you do right now in this seemingly happy life.

To see the faces that were there…to hear the sounds and feel the touch of the past.

To stand in front of a mirror, and see no signs of the world on your shoulders, showing in your face.

Baxter

BAXTER…

Wet nose on my pillow,

fuzzy little feet.

You’re a special gift from heaven

there’s nothing else as sweet.

Little moppy hairdo,

and ears that touch the floor,

your toenails do a tapdance

as you scurry out the door.

You’ve been here when I’m happy

when I’m grumpy, sad, and beat.

You’re my furry little angel,

and you make my life complete.

What is ASMR? (finally) :)

In my last post, I spoke about ASMR.  I received a comment from Julia, asking to elaborate a little on what ASMR is.

ASMR is the abbreviation for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response.  The way I can best describe it, is, when someone brushes your hair, or lightly rubs your hand or face, lightly scratches your back, you may get a “tingling” sensation.  It normally begins in your scalp and may go out into your limbs.  With it comes a sense of total relaxation.  The feeling or “tingling” may be triggered by a smell, different sounds such as tapping or scratching a surface or listening to whispering, or a soft, soothing voice.  The painter/artist, Bob Ross is often used as an example.  If you’ve ever watched his television program, you know what I mean.  His voice can lull you into a state of total relaxation.  Basically, the idea behind the youtube videos being created to trigger the ASMR, is to help people gain relaxation.  Sufferers of anxiety, insomnia, chronic pain, fibromyalgia, etc. can find relief with the aid of these videos.

People have stated that once they learn that it’s a “real thing”, they can remember feeling it all their lives.  I can remember being in grade school on picture day, watching one student combing a friend’s hair with one of the little black combs they used to hand out for us to use.  (That seems like 100 years ago!)  Anyhow, I would just watch, almost in a trance, until I was so relaxed I could’ve fallen out of my chair!  Another “trigger” I remember is when someone would trace the outline of my hand.  Also, going back to Bob Ross…I would turn on his show just to listen to, so I could fall asleep.

I mentioned in the previous post that you have to be a little careful out there on youtube.  There are “creeps” who try and turn this phenomenon into something other than what it is.  The youtubers that I watch and listen to are in no way portraying something distasteful.  It is therapy for me and greatly improves my rest and relaxation.  It is a wonderful aid in easing some of my fibromyalgia pain and tension.

These are my favorites…  🙂

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheWaterwhispers

http://www.youtube.com/user/MrHeadTingles

http://www.youtube.com/user/HeatherFeatherASMR

http://www.youtube.com/user/ASMRByDesign

http://www.youtube.com/user/kiwiwhispers

 

 

You may feel a little weird at first…(my family has become accustomed to finding me watching someone flipping the pages of a book, or tapping on a table on youtube)…but just sit down, take a deep breath, and give it a honest try.  You might be surprised!  🙂

Hugs!

Ilse, the creator of “The Water Whispers”, also has a blog…www.thewaterwhispers.com.  🙂

ASMR…

ASMR…Have you heard of it?  I recently discovered there is a whole community online concerning asmr.  It’s not a new phenomenon, but it is newly “named”.  I stumbled upon it by accident while looking for makeup tutorials on youtube.  A woman was opening a plastic bag of cotton pads, and that was it!  I thought it was going to be a “haul” video, or a review on a product.  Nope.  Just opening the bag.  I watched it…and listened…and was mesmerized.  It sounds weird, but it is a wonderful form of relaxation.  You have to be a little careful and discerning when searching for these types of videos.  Believe it or not…there are some weirdos out there.  😉  I have 2 different channels that I watch.  If you’ve heard of asmr or would like to learn more, leave me a comment.

No Air

Life hurts.  Right now, I’m disappointed, discouraged, disheartened, and just plain sad.  I don’t know if I’ll ever get back up again.  You think your life will turn out a certain way, but it goes off on some wild, ugly ride…and throws you out, flat on your face.  Or your stomach.  Did you ever lie on a swing, on your stomach, when you were a kid…push off with your feet…soar in the air…then the swing would slide out from under you…and slammed you ,stomach first, in the dirt?  You gasped and choked and groaned…but no air!!  Finally…after you thought for sure you were dying…you breathed again.  Well…I feel like I just hit the dirt.  No air.  I’m ready to breathe again.

“Fibrochondriac”

Over the past week or so…I’ve been shoved, knocked down, and trampled on…metaphorically.  No one touched my body…just my psyche…and it’s been rough.  Stressors of the mind leave me feeling beaten down…tired…like I’ve got the flu.  It’s all part of the life-sucking force that is Fibromyalgia.  I’m sure people are sick of hearing about it.  Sick of us “crying” about this “invisible” illness.  I get that.  It’s not easy to believe…until you’ve lived with it.  Countless doctors, tests, x-rays…all coming back with nothing to show for your symptoms…or what you believe could be an injury.  It’s frustrating.  You know what you feel…but there’s no proof.  Scientists are finding more and more about fibro.  The future may hold blood testing and spinal fluid testing to prove we aren’t making all this up.  Until then…

Hello world!

Hi Everyone…it’s me…Twig.  My Dad gave me that nickname when I was a little kid…and alot skinnier.  🙂  What does this blog contain??  I don’t know…everything I think of?  Probably.  I’m a bored, middle-aged, nearly empty-nested mom and wife.  Hang around…it could be fun.  😉

Cellular Cake Final Picture

Here it is…

    

 

and a comparison:

 

                          

      

 

 

Pretty Awesome! 

 

Cellular Cake

My son is a sophomore in high school this year.  Last week they had OGTs (Ohio Graduation Tests).  I’m not really pro-standardized testing at all.  Yeah, yeah…the “homeschool mom” is coming out in me.  🙂  Anyhow…because of all their hard work…in Biology class, they are having a “CELL-ebration Week”.  🙂  The kids are divided into groups…and each group is bringing in a cake with various items placed upon it (Fruit Roll-Ups, Mounds Bars, MnM’s, Twizzlers, etc.). 

 Somehow, this will end up looking like a diagram of an animal cell.  Yummy! 

 

Here are a couple of the kids: 

      

This might not turn out so good.

Final Pictures Later…  🙂