There are days when I wonder why I didn’t do more.

They say, in the end, you are more likely to regret the things you didn’t do, than the things you did.

Travel, adventure, taking chances…all the things you dream of when you’re young (while you haven’t yet stepped out into the world on your own).

I think about this, and wonder what I could’ve been…where I could’ve gone…how things might have been different.

We make decisions in our lives that prove to be stepping-stones to the next place.

Choices made…changed plans.  We pave a way that we will go…and go, we do.

Sometimes to fortune, wealth, ease in living.  Other times to struggle, hardships, back-breaking work.

Could one tiny misstep have changed it all?  Would one little flip of hair, or quick turn the other way, made all the difference?

Who knows, but God?

My only wish, is that the person within, would stop the taunting…the questioning…the “what ifs”…and let me be.

Let me live my life…this crooked, stoney path I’ve chosen…and let me see, the shimmering gold, and the slivers of diamond, scattered among the stones.

Remove this dark veil of second guessing from my eyes…and just let me see.

~The Past~

How many of us feel trapped by our past?

Like someone has a tight grasp on your shirttail,  and holds you still as you try to move forward?

More than just leftover feelings…

It’s as if every day of your present is spent looking back at a faraway scene…seeing yourself in it, as if it were just moments before.

Wishing you could step back into the memory, and nothing would’ve changed.  Wondering if you would feel as lost and fearful as you do right now in this seemingly happy life.

To see the faces that were there…to hear the sounds and feel the touch of the past.

To stand in front of a mirror, and see no signs of the world on your shoulders, showing in your face.



Wet nose on my pillow,

fuzzy little feet.

You’re a special gift from heaven

there’s nothing else as sweet.

Little moppy hairdo,

and ears that touch the floor,

your toenails do a tapdance

as you scurry out the door.

You’ve been here when I’m happy

when I’m grumpy, sad, and beat.

You’re my furry little angel,

and you make my life complete.

What is ASMR? (finally) :)

In my last post, I spoke about ASMR.  I received a comment from Julia, asking to elaborate a little on what ASMR is.

ASMR is the abbreviation for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response.  The way I can best describe it, is, when someone brushes your hair, or lightly rubs your hand or face, lightly scratches your back, you may get a “tingling” sensation.  It normally begins in your scalp and may go out into your limbs.  With it comes a sense of total relaxation.  The feeling or “tingling” may be triggered by a smell, different sounds such as tapping or scratching a surface or listening to whispering, or a soft, soothing voice.  The painter/artist, Bob Ross is often used as an example.  If you’ve ever watched his television program, you know what I mean.  His voice can lull you into a state of total relaxation.  Basically, the idea behind the youtube videos being created to trigger the ASMR, is to help people gain relaxation.  Sufferers of anxiety, insomnia, chronic pain, fibromyalgia, etc. can find relief with the aid of these videos.

People have stated that once they learn that it’s a “real thing”, they can remember feeling it all their lives.  I can remember being in grade school on picture day, watching one student combing a friend’s hair with one of the little black combs they used to hand out for us to use.  (That seems like 100 years ago!)  Anyhow, I would just watch, almost in a trance, until I was so relaxed I could’ve fallen out of my chair!  Another “trigger” I remember is when someone would trace the outline of my hand.  Also, going back to Bob Ross…I would turn on his show just to listen to, so I could fall asleep.

I mentioned in the previous post that you have to be a little careful out there on youtube.  There are “creeps” who try and turn this phenomenon into something other than what it is.  The youtubers that I watch and listen to are in no way portraying something distasteful.  It is therapy for me and greatly improves my rest and relaxation.  It is a wonderful aid in easing some of my fibromyalgia pain and tension.

These are my favorites…  🙂



You may feel a little weird at first…(my family has become accustomed to finding me watching someone flipping the pages of a book, or tapping on a table on youtube)…but just sit down, take a deep breath, and give it a honest try.  You might be surprised!  🙂


Ilse, the creator of “The Water Whispers”, also has a blog…  🙂